Fakemas Claus is Coming to Town

'Twas the night before Fakemas, when all through the flat Not a creature was stirring, except for our cat; The sack was placed on the porch with care, In hopes that Secret Santa soon would be there; The Robinsons were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of all the stuff they still hadn't done danced in their heads; Stu needs to sweep, Em was getting herself into a flap Jerry was settling down for one of his continuous naps, When out in the garden there arose such a din, It was Andy Meyer lurking to see what Secret Santa would bring. Everyone should have their Fakemas booze and cheese Everyone's going to have a good time now….please So today is our Fakemas celebration. As the friends we have made are going to be in disparate locations over Christmas, the Robinsons have decided to host an early Xmas - a Fakemas. Today is that day. We plan to cook a big roast dinner - the bird is in as we speak, and speaking of the bird, first logisitical issue over, the bird we were initially sold was frozen, no good to man nor oven. So quick bit of thinking and we have managed to procure a thawed bird and she is in the oven roasting away...yumm - with all the trimmings and we will liberally baste our guests with various liquids that they have been tasked with bringing. Basically we are providing the roast and all other guests have been tasked with a unique contribution be it pre-nibbles, crackers, some fizz to get us on the way, some Baileys for after etc and also it has been requested that each attendee comes armed with a bottle of wine plus a cheese for a final course. I am looking forward to this already.

i think our secret's out

I am pretty much digging life in Brisbane. I have gone on about this, not quite ad nauseum, enough in previous blogs so don't feel the need to carry on here. The point I want to make is that it would seem the rest of Oz thinks that Brisbane is a little backwater country town (it's the third biggest in the country) where everyone wears RM William clothing and just comes into town to get feed for their steers and what have you. However, I think the secret may be out now. First of all there was a feature article in the Australia Traveller magazine under the title of "Viva Bris Vegas" and the opening part of the article goes on waxing lyrical about my own favourite mode of transport - the City Cat. It went on to say: "The idea of of going to Brisbane for a holiday might once have seemed preposterous - somewhere to escape rather than embrace - but the city now has more than enough on offer to cater for all tastes". *Stu Gulps frantically and hopes that AT is not very well read*. Well AT may be little-read but the Australian - a Murdoch owned broadsheet that is nay bad except its online articles could do with proofing before being published - certainly isn't. Today - I think i have mentioned I have it delivered by a man in a large 4x4 who throws it in the vague direction of the property - one of the lead articles on the front page is on Queensland's prosperity and also references the dual ticket of Prime Minister Rudd and Treasurer Swan- both Queensland boys - will increase the focus on the state (the first Rudd cabinet was held in Brisbane). Some of the point's around the states growth the article makes are quoted by Queensland Premier Anna Bligh:

1. First in Australia for growth in business investment, with 20% growth every year for the past 5 years;
2. First for employment and population growth;
3. First for creation of full-time jobs;
4. First for public infrastructure spending ($14bn worth)
5. First for growth in home loan lending;
6. Second (to the Mexicans down south) as most popular destination for overseas visitors; and
7. Second (to WA) for growth in business profit - 20% in the past year or three times the rate of NSW and double that of Victoria.

I suppose my point is, I love Brisbane for what it is and I hope it doesn't change too much. Yes it is growing, yes it needs to maintain growth (after all I am an economic migrant) but it also needs to retain its own little charm.

Things I love.....

There have been some instances this week where I have felt mixed emotions for Oz. Thought I would capture them here: Things I Love 1) A former rock star is now Minister for Environment, Heritage and the Arts. 2) The integrated approach to public transport and major events, the Suncorp Stadium has its own bus terminus within and after football last night free buses are laid on to whisk punters back into town for their onward journey; 3) The strange flora and fauna including the Bush Turkey that just strutted its way in front of our place this morning 4) The wine. Oh the wine and the thought of today going to the bottle-shop/ offy and buying some Chrimbo wine 5) The markets where I am off to today to go and get lovely fresh fruit Things I am not so Keen on...(I am not whining!) 1) Today is December 1st, i should be rugging up, putting a fire on and decorating the Xmas tree not thinking about sunscreen and whether I need sunglasses 2) Australia's past. The Brits were b@stards, once Australia got independence there was no need to carry on. 3) The fact that e-commerce seems have to passed retailers by. A .pdf catalogue viewable on a website is not an an e-commerce policy 4) The 470 bus which runs to its own timetable, not the published one. 5) The removals truck that parks outside our place and blocks the view across to the park and my Englishness that prevents me from talking to the scary removals man to ask him nicely to park elsewhere.

schwwwwiiiing

Well today is federal election day and by all accounts it does appear that the schwingers are out in force (where's Jon Snow and his swingometer when you need him) with swings from the coalition to Labor. I cannot say that I understand fully the electoral set up in Australia (their institution uses the English term - parliament - yet the two chambers use the American terms Senate and the House of Representatives. It is of interest as I am here in Australia as an economic migrant. Whilst the Howard government has overseen a strong economy driven by natural resources and linked to growth in the Chinese economy, it has come at some cost. Coupled with Australia being stricken by drought, causing crop failures and resulting in crop shortages, Howard's failure to be concerned about the environment - particularly ratifying Kyoto - may come back and haunt him. Howard's challenger is Kevin Rudd, a Queenslander who has run a campaign more about not purring a foot wrong than necessarily conveying his parties policies. One thing I will say for Rudd, as a Mandarin speaking ex-mandarin, if you'll excuse the pun, Rudd does strike me as more of a professional politician - if there is such a thing. Well not much else to say on this subject. We await the final outcome and see what flavour of government it provides us tomorrow.

and the reason for that title was.....

Well this weekend I decided to take the Mrs for a little treat. First off we went to an organic farmers' market (well a treat for both of us), then it was off to DFO - factory outlet place to buy the Doris some clothes as she has been banging on about having none, and then finally it was north to the Glass House Mountains. Fascinatingly beautiful. The GHM are in the same area as Australia Zoo (Steve Irwin's place) about 60KMs north of Brisbane. The actual 'mountains' themselves are at most 500m high. They are in fact plugs of hardened lava that were plugs in volcanoes that have over time eroded away to leave just the plug. They are so called as James Cook (quite famous in Australian parts considering he's a Yorkshireman) saw them and thought they reminded him of glass furnaces from back home. They are very sacred to native Australians (you know the people who had been here for 40million years living a peaceful existence until the white fella showed up) and there is a legend about them, which, rather than paraphrase I will let you choose to read yourself.

People in Glass Houses.....

Since last time out I have been quite busy. First of all I passed the quite rubbish age of 31. However, the weekend of my birthday was quite impressive. The Friday before I went to see the Killers. Well almost see as we were quite possible about as far away as you can get. Brandon Flowers is teeny at the best of times. Nonetheless, they rocked and I enjoyed. The following day it was too the 'Gabba to see Australia take on Sri Lanka in the Warne/ Muralitharan cup. My first test, my first trip to the 'Gabba, my first meat pie at an Australian sporting event and - typically - an strong Aussie performance. I enjoyed, I will be back. Saturday night. The plan was to actually go home and rest/ have some tea. Never happened. Out it was, taking in some dinner at least at the Himalayan cafe in the Valley. The evening finished up in the P&W with the Brisbane Hammers, watching the mighty Irons take on Derby, result: 5-0 to the bastards in claret and blue. Thank you gents, 3 points for my birthday. So to Sunday. That day appeared to pass me by somehow. Nothing to do with the all day drink-a-thon. Excellent way to pass 31. Then this weekend just gone. I flew down to Melbourne on Thursday (15th November) for a training course. My previous visit to Melbourne left me feeling none too excited about going back. However this time I was with a colleague who had lived their for eight years previously and showed some of the more pleasant sides. It seemed that previously I was staying in a part of Melbourne the equivalent of Lambeth. I am sure those Londoners amongst you can understand why it wasn't too enamored. This time out we took in some nice restaurants, including Il Solito a lovely little Italian restaurant that actually had some Italian people in it! It was right opposite Jamie Oliver's Fifteen, it seems Mr O is looking to take on the world! After dinner my colleague took me to the Melbourne Supper Club, a venue that is quite possibly one of my world faves (and I don't do faves really). It oozes genteel charm with lovely old leather sofas, wood panelling, dim lights and a 100 page wine list. Heaven. Well potentially the road to ruin given my proclivity for the vinous liquid. And that was just Thursday night. Unusually for me I actually really enjoyed the training course. It was on facilitation techniques and itself was facilitated by an organisation called Maura Fay. It really was good, a balance between taught and participative styles kept me engaged. Hats off to you. Friday nights dinner saw me take my first sojourn to St Kilda. A place I had heard much about from friends who had either visited or indeed lived there. Thus I took the opportunity to send some text messages to invoke envy amongst those friends! An interesting place, effectively in two halves with a strip of 'nice' places to eat and drink and then further on a 'strip' of places more akin to what you'd see in any trashy beachside 18-30 destination. Dinner this night was at a delightful Malaysian influenced hawker bar called Chinta Blues, where I had a delightful Beef Rendang....yum yummmm washed down with a lovely little Tassy sparkling rose. Can it get any better? Well the only downside was the flies, however as the sun started setting they popped off leaving me to dine in relative peace. That's another thing I did like, and experiencing this has made me change my opinion on this subject, and that is daylight saving. Queensland doesn't observe daylight saving so you get the situation where NSW immediately south, and really only about 3 hours away max does observe daylight saving. So you could live somewhere like the south end of the Gold Coast and be able to gain and lose an hour just by hopping over the state border. The reason I have changed my mind on this subject is that it was so nice to be able to eat out and it still be light at approaching 8pm. In Queensland it's dark approaching 7, not really conducive for an outdoor lifestyle. The funny thing is, the reason oft stated that DST is not observed in Queensland is that it would upset the cows. Go figure!

Dare to be Different Brisbane

What I like about Brisbane is that, despite being a place called home for in excess of 1 million people, it hasn't succumbed to the urge most cities do, that is to line its waterways with faceless identikit architecture. It is rare in cities with a large waterside space that you actually seem able to enjoy that water without having to worry about access. However it does seem now that some part of South Bank is trying to be sold off to make way for....oooh...faceless office space and retail square footage. Inspired planning! I may run the risk of being labelled a NIMBY here, but there are plenty of brownfield sites in Brisbane that could be renovated to offer more office and retail space. Don't go sacrificing a fantastic municipal space that can be utilised by residents and visitors of all ages. If you don't agree with this potential development, register your protest here: Save Our South Bank

Back.....

It has been too long. Partly that is because I have been waiting for the Internet to be restored for four weeks. I just wanted to take the opportunity to express my feelings. What I Have Learned 1) Australians have a short memory when it comes to sporting defeat (Oh Rugby is only our third sport anyway....after losing 10-12 to England). 2) Brisbane has a pretty good integrated public transport network but it could with running a little later. 3) I never knew there were that many South Africans in Brisbane until Monday 22nd October 4) Cats and wives are very hairy and require constant sweeping/ hoovering. 5) BT aren't that bad after all..... 6) Charlotte Towers still have shocking administrative process despite moving to River City 7) Brisbane is hot 8) Murdering large endangered mammals ISN'T scientific research 9) John Howard and David Gray may be related Things I Miss 1) All of my friends - especially their milestone birthdays 2) Rain 3) Warm beer 4) Big brick houses 5) Knowing stuff..... Things I Plan to do as Soon as Possible 1) Help the Mrs find another job (too all employers out there, forcing your staff to take 65% of their annual leave entitlement at Christmas is not a progressive enlightened HR policy....) 2) See some of Australia (FNQ, South Australia, "The Top End" and the "Centre" 3) See some of places near Australia: Fiji, Vanuatu 4) Plan a road trip 5) Start a wine cellar 6) Build my map of wineries and their wines 7) Get hideously drunk Things I am Immediately Excited About 1) The Killers 2) My first test match 3) The Cunliffes at Xmas 4) The prospect of seeing friends "this way" in April 5) India

The Broad's Prayer

Our Big Pond, which art in Melbourne, Not always Hallowed be thy Name. Thy remote relocation come. Thy will be done, in Toowong as it was in Charlotte Street. Give us our house our daily bitrate. And forgive us our terse words against you, As we forgive them that have failed to restore our broadband. And lead us not into temptation to complain; But deliver us from having to use my phone too much. For thine is the bitrate, the upload, and the download, For the remainder of our contract. Amen.

An offering to the god of broadband.....

I may have lapsed somewhat in my offerings to you my lord, however if you restoreth my broadband today i promise to blog daily for a month.

I am hoping you are a sympathetic god and consider 26 days without the Internet a suitable punishment.

Jesus Saves.....

Not today he didn't. Despite an eagerly anticipated second half introduction, Sebastien Chabal couldn't save "Les Bleus" from a tournament opening defeat to the Argentinian Pumas.

I think there is something to said for a little personal sacrifice in geetting up at ridiculous o'clock for the purpose of watching sport. I look forward to an evening of ovoid and spherical based entertainment, starting with my sweepstake draw the All Blacks and finishing with an English double header with the USA and the Israelis being opponets. Get the McLaren effigy ready.

Let me hear you Roar.....

We're at the magnificent Suncorp stadium to wach the mighty Queensland Roar.

It should be a great evening for sport with Sunderland v Liverpool and then The Irons vs the Pie boys Wigan.

It's Not So Bad Is It....?

As I am just about to set foot onto the Carlsberg public transport sytem (think about it...) to head to the market i can only think that life's not so bad.

Our belongings have arrived at last so at least now i can be a ponce and drink decanted wine out of an actual glass; have a choice of clothes to wear and sleep in actual bed. Also I can't be doing too badly at work if i have been asked to represent the company to a group of MBA students.

There are some things i'm missing like the round of friends' 30th birthdays, rain and real ale.

At least today/ tonight the football season starts so i can get back into the having a nap in the evening before heading to the boozer for a midnight KO state.

Yeah it's not so bad really.....

File Under: Seeing is Believing

I can't help but be a tourist.

Sainsbury's at Marsh Mills, Plymouth?

"So, howdya' like our country, eh?"

I find myself being asked this question often, and maybe it is a mark of how I am settling in to life here in Brisbane that I often ask it of myself and/ or Barnes. I am certainly loving living in Brisbane but find it often hard to articulate why. Bris itself is like any other city, well it has the facilities of any city that I have been in. It has a climate (insofar as I refer to climate meaning the weather experienced to date) that enables its self proclaimed title of "River City" to be something that is enjoyed. Rather than just being a geographical barrier, although it is with only something like four bridges traversing it, the river becomes an enjoyable backdrop to a weekend coffee and it also serves for me as a means if transport- but I have spoken of the River cat enough in previous posts. I spose what I am really trying to say (remember I have said that I have trouble trying to articulate myself) is that Brisbane is lovely as a city to live in. It is no London in that London is vast and has so much history and a vibrant cultural scene, nor is it a Sydney which has those global icons in the Opera House and the harbour bridge, nor is it San Francisco with its bayside location and Golden Gate Bridge. For me Brisbane doesn't need those things. I think three things have happened in the last 24 hours that have, for me, brought home why I like Brisbane. The first was that I was walking through the Pedestrianised shopping bit of Brisbane, the Queen Street mall. The mall has at its top end an area where performances of various kinds regularly take place. On this occasion I think it was a High School band competition. As I was walking past, the school playing at that point was just launching into their rendition of Led Zep's Stariway to Heaven. Oft overdone (as anyone who has seen Wayne's World will no doubt recall), this particular version was unique in that it was mainly performed by a brass section which added some real depth. Yes you're never going to get Jimmy Page's guitar sounds from a group of 15-16 year olds but the warmth from the brass added a little something else. It wasn't just the performance that may me feel a sense of pride, it was the fact that so many people had stopped and were standing watching and apreciating the performance. The second "moment" I had occurred later in the evening. Em and I went to look at a potential suburb for living in called Paddington. Nothing like its London namesake (at least I didn't see any whores touting their wares, no taxi office that I could see and only one Middle Eastern restuarant), Brisbane's Paddington is a delightful area that I would be pleased to call home. In retrospect this particular "moment" came in two parts. The first was that such a lovely little suburb could be found only 3 kms from the city centre (and be affordable to a couple of immigrants!), the second was that when it came time to getting back into the city we decided to hail a cab. There was another young Australian girl who also wanted to do the same and she then asked if she could share. Not a problem for us, and also it worked out nicely for all in terms of shared cab fare. The cab journey itself was pleasant, a three way conversation between passengers and cab driver on the merits of Brisbane and also on the UK where our Australian co-habitant was headed in November of this year to do that OE that so many Australian's do. The third moment for me occurred this morning whilst Em and I were having a morning coffee at the Plaza on the Riverside (one of our fave Brisbane things to do that I must surely have mentioned previously). Just sitting there in the glow of the morning sun, I saw what I thought was a rather fashion conscious young lady with her black brazier glaring from underneath a white top - a bit of a no no I thought. As the young lady continued to walk towards me it transpired that she was pop-Princess (I think Madonna is still queen) Gwen Stefani accompanied by husband Gavin Rodssdale and small child. So you get famous folk the world over. What I am really saying is Brisbane is big enough to attract these performers, yet small enough that I can be in the same place as them, and it be safe enough for them to feel that they can just stroll around with other Brisbanites and not need an entourage to accompany them. Wes, cheers, I too love Brisbane. To go back to my title post, I am going to borrow from the late great Douglas Adams: "The only correct answer to "So, howdya' like our country, eh?" is "Best{insert your own regional swear word here} country in the world!". It certainly is great from my perspective of living here. Just need to see some more of Australia's icons starting with a trip to Sydney on Wednesday.

The Boys are Back in Town

I am referring here to the youth of the USS Kitty Hawk, the US Naval Carrier which has docked in Brisbane before returning back to the US to be decommissioned in June of next year. I always used to think the US Navy were something to be respected, the world's largest naval force with a truly global reach and some mighty fine equipment to get them there. Then with the arrival of the Kitty Hawk and its personnel in Brisbane I realised that the US navy is staffed by boys who all wear their hats askew, their trousers sans belt flying at half mast around their booties. There was one little posse of chaps in the Vic last night and I almost felt compelled to compliment one of them on his efforts to grow moustache. A fine effort it was that took me back to about 1990/91 and the fluffy little efforts that used to appear on some of the hairier lads at the tail end of middle school. Anyway boy sailors of America, we welcome you and your dollars that are rapidly depreciating in their global spending power.

Lost in Translation

Must have a different meaning in Oz (or does it?)

Who said happiness is a warm gun?

I beg to differ. I would contest that it is a Barnes with a kitty.

We're at Lauriston House, a delightful B&B in Toowoomba. Em has remarked how much she misses a garden and "stuff". Must say i agree and am very relaxed.

It's Been Too Long

I did try and post before on the go but for some reason it didn't work. Now a momentous occasion has caused me to get online and post (before anyone gets excited for me our stuff hasn't arrived), the cause is that I am actually going to go for a beer outside of the CBD. It will probably be some trendy wine bar affair that will have me grumbling about the lack of old scrotes, but nonetheless it is a step in the right direction. Also tomorrow sees the day when Em and I shall actually leave Brisbane. Can I take this much in one weekend?

Mark Schwarzer

Socceroo Mark Schwarzer who did a PA at the Pig & Whistle.

Today is a good day...

Why? Because it is raining and this rain is on a par with good god fearing English rain.

I cannot but help to be caught up in Brisbane's joy at this level of precipitation. People are smiling, i've bought my first Australian umbrella (a lovely blue one), things are looking a little greener and i cannot feel dispirited with those facts.

I am going to host a BBQ this Saturday so the weather is even setting me up for an English barbie!

You've gotta be happy with that.

Allow me to make the introduction.....

To our shipping agent (who has left our belongings in a warehouse in the UK for the last 12 weeks): I would like to introduce arse to elbow. Arse this is elbow, elbow this is arse. Make each other's acquaintance.

Paradise Lost?

As i sit here in my al fresco dining area (fancy way of saying we have a balcony that can be enclosed to form an actual part of your apartment) and listen to the various sounds around me, i feel like i am in my own episode of Spaced. For those of you unfamiliar with this particular body of work from the excellent Simon Pegg, there is one particular episode where Tyres - a chemically induced pal of Daisy and Tim, the shows main protagonists - is on a bit of a chemical retreat. The sounds that go on around him form some soundtrack to his own neuron altered state.

Now, i am not saying that i am on some disco biscuit come down, far from it, today has seen me consume nothing stronger than that very English breakfast item the Muffin, along with a cup of coffee, rather I am referring to the sounds around me. There is the call of the murderous Crows, the siren of the car park that alerts you to an exiting vehicle, the faint hum of various air conditioning units and the occasional screech of tires accompanied by the sound of a car horn.

All sounds that make up the backdrop to life in the city. I fear that this mostly peaceful life is to be shattered by the construction of a rather large building opposite (see photo) and one that will reove the small view that we have of the Botanical Gardens. There is one piece of positive commentary to come from this: that is to remark on the industriousness of the Australian construction worker. Yesterday morning, yes they work weekends here, a team of three JCB style vehicles set about pulling down an existing building a clearing some waste space adjacent to said building - hang around they did not.

I am rather glad we haven't bought this place and that our lease is only for six months. This new construction would block any view of the sky we have. Altough today has started a little overcast, actually benefiting Brisbane with some rain, it is clearing now and will no doubt transform into one of those lovely Autumnal days which is enhancing my love of Brisbane.

Enjoy it while it lasts i say or a least until we find our next piece of paradise.

The Information Super Highway

We're back and connected with the online world. At last. More to follow. Stu xx

Birthdays, Buddhas & Big Bad Movie Stars

Well...this weekend is Buddha's birthday, an event which sees yer man (for he is not a deity and is not revered as such) celebrated. In Brisbane this is a weekend long celebration that starts with the bathing of the Buddha. This is literally where Buddha is bathed. Indivduals can also participate and this allows the individual to cleanse their soul (or something). Sorry to sound a bit heathen, but i am not sure of the exact detail. Suffice to say, the barnes and i went along to the South Bank to take in the atmosphere and enjoy the spirit of the event.

Leaving the South Bank via the City Cat (see previous post) and fancying a few beers, we felt that Jade Buddha was an appropriate venue in which to partake. A very pleasant riverside bar/ eatery, the location for our hungover oneth wedding anniversary, we were just enjoying a beer minding our own when a group came in whom I suspected had just been released from prison. Em naturally the more curious of the two of us (read nosier) established that one of said party was Jared Lehto, sometime actor and more recently a "rock" chick (well he was wearing goth black nail varnish) who is looking to establish himself a new career. Also, if i remember rightly, Mr Lehto is a one time acquaintance of my old pal Stallard. Oh the world i move in these days!

Fortune's Always Hiding...

There is hope yet. That's all that needs to be said. Old Trafford last match of the season...Bolton en route who I don't fancy at the best of times.

We're still in there and even a few pints of the gold stuff isn't going to temper my caution despite a 3-0 win.

City Cat

Today is Saturday and we have spent the first night in our new place, albeit on a blow up bed in the study area as we have no curtains/ blinds as yet.

That's an aside. As today is Saturday we are going back to the farmers' market at the Brisbane Powerhouse. As usual our chosen mode of transport is the City Cat, an inner city ferry service that plies its trade from the University of Queensland in the West of Brisbane, up to Brett's Wharf in the East - neither of which we have actually been to as yet (in the three weeks we have been here we haven't actually strayed much outside of the city area at all - all in good time I say).

Not much else to report about the City Cat except to say it is regular, prompt, relatively cheap ($3.90 for a return) and well connected to other modes of transport ie there are buses awaiting its arrival or they arrive within a few minutes of arrival, as opposed to the bus having left before its arrival. Ahhh the benefits of an integrated transport policy.

"Is this our first Friday night out?"

Live from the victory (our new local to be): no love it's Tuesday.

The wisdom of mid-week public holidays. You've gotta love 'em!

Stu and Em xx

Anzac Day

Tomorrow is Anzac Day, a special day for Australians (and Kiwis too for that matter) for it is when they remember their fallen countrymen who have given their lives in the various conflicts around the world.

Services traditionally begin at 4.28 am for that is when the first troops went ashore at Gallipoli, the first serious engagement of Australian troops in world war one.

There is also to be a parade that commences at 10am which is a chance to give support to those who fought in the various conflicts who were safely returned. I am not Australian but i intend to be there to support those who fought for whatever reason and as a mark of respect for my newly adopted home.

Home Brew

I am loving the fact that in the local supermarket (it is a Woolworths which did surprise me very much as Woolies here is nothing like Woolies at home, Woolies as we may know it in the UK is a shop called Target - confused?), well anyway I am not blogging to comment on the food retail market in Australia, more to remark that I love the fact that there is a home brew section in said Supermarket. Good work.

Walking With Jays

I am sure that there is a good reason for it, but being an Englishman and the fact that I consider it my god given right to try and navigate my way across roads, I do not necessarily agree with it - folks I am on about jaywalking Jaywalking (odd term) is illegal in Australia and consequently this means that I start thinking about navigating my way around town, not necessarily in the most direct manner, but more by the path of least resistance ie where I will encounter fewest crossings. I could disobey the rules I think I hear many of you saying to yourselves, but there are some very good reasons why I don't: 1) Living in the city the rozzers are reputedly very sneaky, they sit in car park entrances and then pounce; if caught 2) The fine is $60 (only about £20 or 10 pints of Carlton Draught in the Pig) 3) I consider myself an ambassador for my country here and don't want to get caught and be considered "another bleeding pom who cannot obey the law" Now I haven't really explained the aggravation this causes me. Consider this example: To get to my office (the office of the company that pays my wages rather than the company I am currently working at) is on the face of it a very simple journey, down one road. To get into the office I have to cross a minimum of three inter-sections, there is no shorter route. Further the annoying thing is, to get across one inter-section you have to wait for the facing traffic to be brought to a halt by the traffic lights (reasonable enough) but then to cross a crossing that runs perpendicular to that which you have just crossed, you have to wait for the relevant traffic to get stopped too. Not too major, it just all adds up and causes me some annoyance. Rant over, spleen vented and just gonna have to live with it (or move to a pedestrianised city).

Evening All

Nah, I haven't been arrested....just it is the evening here. Well it has been a while, and also today marks the first anniversary, in weekly terms, of our arrival in Brisbane. It has been interesting - in a good way. Have completed my first week in the office - just. Information overload has been the oft used phrase this week. The company are certainly a good bunch - which is nice, just lots to get to grips with: new processes, new language, new way of doing things around here. No room for complacency and still much to learn. However things are possibly looking up and I may have my first client based assignment. Not counting ones chickens so more about it should it come off. Other news: Brisbane is a great city. I really cannot say much more than that. Compact enough to get around and yet big enough to really feel like a city. Folks here are friendly (couldn't imagine a Londoner offering you directions, then again I couldn't imagine a Londoner accepting them - as I did!). No hoodies - nice, just plenty of Emo/ Goth dudes (why you would cake your face in make up in temperatures of 20+ degrees I do not know (considering this is Autumn I wouldn't like to consider whether they do this in summer. Many of the restaurants here have a BYO policy so you can take a decent bottle of wine in with you and only get charged $1.50 (yes I have to think in dollars now) or so corkage. That segues nicely into the subject of my earlier blogs: the noble rot. I came here not necessarily expecting to see some of the same Aussie producers that you get in the UK - how wrong was I as were those who had informed me of this. Recent samples: Kangarilla Road Shiraz but not enough jam and fruit for Em (I quite liked its understated approach , so obviously a Shiraz yet smoother than others). Another wine, although not sampled, that I was pleasantly surprised to see was d'Arenberg's Feral Fox Pinot Noir a wine that I had the fortune to sample in the UK, but was rather difficult to get hold of - not so here: three cases just sitting unopened in a little bottle shop we went to last night. Tonight's wares: Battle of Bosworth Shiraz, lovingly being decanted in a plastic jug (all we have before I am branded a philistine!) I'll try and let you know how it is soon.

1-0 to the Cockney Boys

Well despite my earlier thoughts about falling asleep and not being able to stay awake for the footy, I actually managed to do so. I'll let Em fill in the detail about playing canasta and how she beat me and how that led to me watching the footy. The main thing to understand is that the mighty Hammers beat the Arse and managed to maintain three victories in a row and condemn the Arse to their first defeat at the Emirates Stadium. As importantly for me, I met the Brisbane Hammers in the Pig & Whistle (see earlier post) and hopefully this will lead to a fruitful relationship with some true claret and blue. All I can really say is: "Our East London is beautiful, our East London is beautiful....."

Robinson's Pig & Whistle

One of my favourite books is McCarthy's Bar by the late Pete McCarthy, a book in which the author follows a self-created rule that you should never pass a bar that bears your own name. Well I have a semi-official personal rule that means that I cannot pass a pub/ bar that has the name "Pig & Whistle". A bit of a tribute to my own late father who, for a fair few of his latter years drank in a pub of the same name. This unofficial rule started last year when Em and I chanced upon a P&W in Rotorua, North Island, New Zealand. The Odyssey continued yesterday, when, on our first little foray into Brisbane, and looking to locate my new office, I chanced upon a Pig & Whistle here in Brisbane! I was distraught, as you can no doubt gather, to realise that as it is only along the road from the office it may well become the post-work boozer!Oh and they are showing the Hammers vs The Arse tonight, programme starts at 11:55pm (as folks who know will testify, I can barely stay awake for MOTD so I don't hold much hope of seeing the match).

Rogues Gallery: If Seen, Do NOT Approach!

We have arrived in Singapore! I wanted my first post on my journey to Brisbane to actually be my rogues gallery, the mugshots of all those individuals who we managed to catch up with in the last four weeks in the UK. You're all great pals and this is my way of showing my appreciation. xx

Phase 1 In Which Doris DIDN'T Get Her Oats

Well basically the first flight has been successfully completed. The real magic is not that I am able to post a blog from Dubai airport but more to do with the fact that they upgraded us to Business class for the London-Dubai leg of our enjoy. Marvellous! More to come when we get to Singapore..... Stu

For those about to ski...we salute you

I've been a little slack on the blog front of late. Like Russell Brand, I have issues, but mine aren't to do with having a dodgy barnet. Mine are technology related. Anyhow, I post this little number and say: "Mr Urban Skier, we salute you!"

Wayne Bridge's the Gap Between Premiership Footballers and Toddlers

Wayne Bridge petulantly knocks the ball out of Eboue's hand, gets a little slap round the back of the neck, has a bit of a knee trembler, spots that he's been spotted and like a small child throws himself to the ground a la my good self when I was about two. Class.

Terroir.....my arse

In my lost blog I endeavoured to keep an online record of the wines that I have been consuming. I immediately failed after last weeks post to record my opinions of the wines consumed then. Well so to this week.... Friday Hegarty No. 3 from the Minervois. I didn't like this one iota. In fact I didn't drink it aside from an initial taste. I would rather have consumed some neat blackcurrant cordial. Lesson Learned = stick to Ozzie wines Two Hands Gnarly Dude Shiraz. Brilliant. Everything I want in a Shiraz. Big, with a bit of spice, silken finish with light tannins. One to commit to memory for future consumption and a producer to keep an eye out for. Saturday 2005 Henschke Henry's Seven. An interesting Shiraz, Grenache, Mourvedre, Viogner from the Barossa Valley. I was expecting big things from this wine, and whilst on the nose it was very appealing, on the pallet it offered less and didn't really open up. This is one of Henschke's lower end wines and so I shall be keeping an eye out for other stable mates. St Hallet Gamekeeper's Reserve. For a sub tenner wine this is rather enjoyable. Another interesting Barossa blend, along with the ubiquitous Shiraz and Grenache an element of Touriga is thrown in for good measure. That's enough for now, I'm sounding like a poncy wine cnut.

Is he carrying a watermelon?

I sincerely hope this fellows efforts were rewarded!

Last of the NZ Reds

I am trying to resist the temptation to post for postings sake, but at the same time I am mindful that I want to maintain some kind of momentum, conscious of that fact that there have been other initiatives in the past that I have undertaken, that have fallen by the way-side somewhat. So given this quandary, I have decided to post anyway. The reason: I was thinking that my blog could serve as some kind of permanent reminder of the wines that I have consumed. Why was I thinking this? Well when my wife and I went to New Zealand on our honeymoon last year we managed to return with a number of fine wines, the quantity of which has slowly dwindled 'til we find ourselves in the position that today we have decanted the last of the NZ reds, a Nautilus 1998 Cabernet Sauvignon Merlot Reserve. Sounds fancy....well wait until you smell it. At first I thought it was corked (it was that rare thing amongst NZ wines - it actually had a cork rather than the more frequently encountered Stelvin enclosure - screwcap to thee and me) but I think that was just a slight mustiness around the bottle neck, and once decanted (not as pretentious an act as it may seem, it gives the wine a chance to breathe and relax a little more) all seemed well. At this stage I cannot say what it is like, it is still sitting in the Decanter in the Kitchen. As my wife and I plan to enjoy an evening in its company, I thought it only correct to purchase another bottle of wine - this one a 2003 d'Arenberg Galvo Garage - an interesting blend of Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot and Cabernet Franc. I like the way that d'Arenberg - and so many other Australian winemakers have a story behind the production of their wines, or at least the initial inspiration for them. Hopefully with my work-in-progress relocation to Brisbane, I should be in a position to get to try more Australian varietals than I currently have access to in the UK market. I should get to see if they do indeed keep some of the best wines to themselves. Although much of the viticultural action is in South Australia and Victoria, I am certainly keen to sample the output of the boutique wineries of Queensland - particularly Robinson family vineyards. Maybe I'll post tomorrow to serve as a reminder of how the Nautilus and 'Galvo' went.

Winter

There is something about a Wintry day that is both nostalgic and more recently reassuring. With much media focus on global warming, but not necessarily governmental action, the obvious climatic changes that we see in our day to day lives is quite startling. Daffodils blooming in January, Blue Tits looking for partners and nests in February, Keria flowering in January it is all at odds with how we are used to things occurring. I must say I do like a good wintry day, when you have to wrap up with scarves, gloves and bobble hats to go and face what, to me, Winter is about. I recall as a child wearing my Parka with its fur lined hood having had my Ready Brek - advertised in the day as a central heating breakfast, imagining this little army of folk keeping me warm and insulated around the aforementioned Parka. I was reading another blog the other day in which the blogger was discussing global warming. In particular the blog was about the climatic change conference at Davos and why seemingly why no governments are taking notice of the scientists and surely that the scientists have no vested interest in talking up the problem. I always like to think I consider things from all view points - well try to anyway without my own inherit bias skewing my thoughts. On this point I do believe that global warming is an issue, see what I have said above. On the other hand I do also believe that scientists do have a vested interested in talking up the problem: 1) to get the item on the global (and governmental) agenda and perhaps somewhat cynically 2) to raise the amount of funds they receive for research into the subjects. It is an issue, it is something we should all be concerned about, it is something we can all do something about: be it vote with our conscience rather than for the party we have (or our parents have) always voted for. There are things we can do at home: recycle, turn lights off after ourselves simple things that collectively will make a huge differences. When we buy food, buy local, and I don't mean the local supermarket that stocks air-freighted green beans from Kenya. I read once that it takes 88 calories of energy to air freight one calorie of frozen bean into Britain: wasteful. I'm on a roll now.....VAT on aviation fuel? The reason it is so cheap to fly is that aviation fuel attracts no VAT. That'd soon wipe the smile of that cnut O'Leary. Enough for one day. Blood pressure started to rise there......

Ouch!

Today I am a little hungover. And today I have also learnt that there is a difference between a "bug" and a "support issue" (in systems terms). If anyone knows what that difference is, I would be grateful for some guidance. I joke that where I work (the organisation shall remain anonymous as there are some good folk here) that it is easier to bypass the middleman and bang my head against the wall - same end result and achieved in a quicker time. I would like to quote some Paul Hewson: "don't let the b@stards grind you down".

Apple i-Phone

Partly inspired by the Secret Diary of Steve Jobs and by the Apple i-Phone, and maybe somewhat spurred on by a hangover induced by a few bottles of fantastic Aussie Shiraz, I have created my own i-phone. It is amazing with dual colour screen, fantastic 8GB memory, SVGA phone. Ahead of Apple it is shipping now and already offers full integration with i-tunes. Weight comes in around the combined weights of an 8GB Nano and a Motorola SLVR. For the ladies it even comes complete with two free hair bands. What more could you ask for?!

time marches on

For Whom the Bell Tolls? It waits for no-one. yadda yadda yadda As I sit watching the conclusion of the Men's Australian Open final (I digress here by considering why, of the Grand Slam tournaments, only Wimbledon is known by the location, as opposed to the country where it is hosted. Even then I still have my doubts as to whether the AELTC is actually in Wimbledon having lived in that locale for many years.....digression over) I am eager to get moving (literally) with the process to re-locate to Australia. Not sure whether the driver to re-locate is some childish impatience or if it is to escape the relentless criticism and comment from my dear M-i-L who is clearly against the decision to go. With regards to time.....it is indeed marching on. My impatience to move will only grow as the significant milestones get nearer. The date to leave our house, the date that we will have to move in with the in-laws (vicious circle this I foresee), date to have an almighty lager fest to celebrate going with nearest and dearest and finally the actual date to take off (possibly only 7 weeks away). Enough for now.